We’re in the midst of a January thaw here in Southern New England.
Yesterday was beautiful - sunny and warm, which for my children and their classmates meant extra time playing and running outside. (With spare sets of clothes tucked into their backpacks for the inevitable mud-sloshing that is just too fun to resist.) And for me it meant putting writing and other projects aside and tending to long-neglected barn chores.
Remember the chicken pen I started in November?
Yeah. It’s still not finished.
This wire fencing has been used to contain sheep, small children, and soon (fingers crossed) will help to keep the chickens safe and secure in their new pen.
It was this project that ignited the spark of anger between me and John on Thanksgiving.
Helping his wife stretch and staple wire was not his idea of a relaxing holiday. Sleeping in, surfing the Net, and watching a little football was.
I’ll let you use your imagination as to how well that went over with me as I was nursing dozens of tiny nicks and scrapes from the sharp wire, while trying to keep an eye on the kids who were allegedly “helping me” with this project I wanted desperately to finish before the winter in hopes of avoiding another mass chicken tragedy like we had last winter.
Yeah. It wasn’t pretty.
And it was this project that brought tears rolling down my face as snow poured out of the sky and piled up around our house on Solstice weekend, frustrated yet again with my inability to get anything I start around here done.
But yesterday as I did my own mud-sloshing along with my neighbor, who was out walking his dog when I recruited him to “come help me for just a minute,” it was this project that filled me with feelings of contentment and peace.
It’s much bigger than making progress on the chicken pen (though trust me, I will be very happy when they are secured and we are no longer stepping in chicken poop).
What feels so good is how things are shifting in our home and in our family.
John and I are talking — more frequently and much more softly — about how things are working and about our shared goals for our family. We’re focusing more on the places where we are in alignment and less on the places where we do not see eye-to-eye.
Pigs are out. Indefinitely.
Milking goats. Maybe in a couple of years. But not now.
Rabbits are doable. Later this year. Maybe.
In the whirlwind of cleaning and decluttering that has been happening in our home (inspired by One Small Change), the kids found this photo of Lily (about 18 mos. old) with her first flock of chickens and one of our Shetland sheep, George.
George and his sister Gracie left us the following fall. Both sheep were fond of jumping out of their pen, and chasing them down on a near-daily basis (with a toddler on my back and a baby strapped to my chest) was more than this sleep-deprived, aspiring farmer-mama could handle.
The other day, when the kids handed me the photo, I mindlessly grabbed a magnet and stuck it the fridge.
Yesterday as I walked through the kitchen I was struck by the beauty of the photo and the words on the magnet, a gift I received a decade ago from a wise friend.
Having it all does not necessarily mean all at once.
Tags: the chicken pen project
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Amen sister! Thank you for sharing that story. We’ve had our share of those type of clashes before. Though since learning how to communicate better and focusing on our shared dreams and goals those are not as common anymore.
Love the plans for your little farm.
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Pigs are out. Indefinitely. — pigs are now a must at some point in the future because, well, one word: bacon
Milking goats. Maybe in a couple of years. But not now. — same… unless we really do take over Josh’s parents dairy farm. Then maybe meat goats, according to Josh.
Rabbits are doable. Later this year. Maybe. — another thing Josh wants and I’m still not on board with.
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Ah, this struck such a chord with me, especially the part about NEEDING to finish a task. Love the quotation, too. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
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I love the quote on the magnet. Isn’t that the truth?! Can’t wait to see the project when it’s springtime and (hopefully) done.
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Another beautiful post, Erin! and I soooo hear ya on just getting the task done!
Good for you, Mama!!!! :)(and yeah…I still want it all at once! lol!)
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Lovely post. Thank you for being perfectly not perfect. :) And thank you for the quote, too. Nice reminder.
Toni Turbeville´s last blog ..Breakfast Break -
I’m so there with you on so much of this. What wonderful thoughts to share. Love to hear the your communication has taken a more thoughtful path. I just finished reading “Simplicity Parenting” and he mentions the age old idea of “true, kind, necessary.” Whenever we speak, we should ask ourselves, “is it true, is it kind, is it necessary?”
Thanks for the quote. Think I’ll stick it on my fridge, too.
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This post hit close to home. We have these tasks and goals we really want to finish and I’ve learned it’s more about navigating our relationships (and time and efforts) successfully in order to get it done. Phew!
I loved the way you pulled it together with the picture and the magnet. What a perfect lesson for all of us!
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love the plans. Love the words on the card. Love the realizations and acceptance and understanding ringing through it all!
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Congratulations on more frequent and softer talking! And on enlisting a neighbor’s help. And sharing good notions with us.
I am the one in my household that always has the big dreams and plans; my husband is the voice of reason, reminding me that it’s better to just tackle a little project and succeed, than a big one with stress and loose ends.
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wow…I love moments and messages like that. life gets darn confusing sometimes without them.
relieved to know I am not the only soul who dreams big and sometimes fails to have the timing right…glad you are moving in the direction you have been dreaming of…
blessings~
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I love that quote at the end. It is very thought provoking and appropriate for me at this time…love how that happens!
Suzy
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How wonderful that you and your dh communicate more about your dreams and common goals! (I wonder what that’s like… sounds nice but we are so not there)
And I love the magnet, too.
Best of luck with the rabbits. And the goats to be…..
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Hi Erin,
It’s lily bell from vermont! Your post reminded me of the chickens we have here at school- after doing AM cow and small animal barn last fall, I began to appreciate the value of farming in life. I think it’s awesome you have ‘farm’ animals at home, too.My two best friends and I started a blog! theskytheykeep.blogspot.com. Could we add you to our blogroll?
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Perfect quote. Isn’t it funny how things come to us at the perfect moment? You tied that post together so beautifully :)
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Wise words mama! I am getting a taste of farm life (tropical style) spending a month+ on my parents farm in Hawaii. It’s nothing short of a lot of work, and you do have to love it. I do love it here, but I still prefer pouring my energies into boat life. For now.
BOATBABY´s last blog ..Off The Beaten Path -
i like this post for so many reasons. it captures every emotion so perfectly. frustration, hope, joy, love, anger, gratitude, mindfulness. i had a hard marital connection day, so i really like that you shared that little (little? ha. ) bit of your life!
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I do believe that it’s true, we have to wait sometimes for the things we want. Ironically, sometimes when I wait, I find that things come to me without me trying so hard. I know about stepping on the chicken poop thing. Oh, how I know about that one. Sometimes, in the summer, when we haven’t penned our chickens in, they somehow make it INSIDE the house, pecking at things under the kitchen table. That’s fun. Best wishes on getting rabbits. I wish we would have done that instead of guinea pigs. At least rabbits can live outdoors.
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I love this post Erin! And yes…that photo of your little lady is wonderful! I didn’t realize that you have shetlands….I’m getting new sheep this spring and I’ve got it narrowed down to either shetlands, or CVM’s…..probably depending on which ones I can find first…and not have to go too very far to get them. Isn’t fencing the absolute pits!? It’s by far my least favorite job on the farm….never have I felt such frustration as when I’m fencing!
I hope you’re having a nice weekend!
love,
sara
Farmama´s last blog ..Some last minute things -
My hubby has been teaching me the little at a time thing. :) I have big dreams too. And our chickens have not remained in their nice spot we made for them in the barn. More work to do there. It’s nice though when we can talk with one another and make progress – find the stillpoint in a relationship.
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I loved this post Erin!
Such a beautiful, beautiful quote to feel mindful of…
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