behind the scenes :: a blogging life

April 16, 2009 in life as a writer | 6 comments

This blog is not my diary.

There are many experiences that I have in my day-to-day life that are not reflected here.

The past three weeks for example were spent visiting my grandmother at Hospice, saying goodbye, and waiting. She passed peacefully on Friday and we buried her yesterday.

You wouldn’t know this by reading my blog about chicks in our playroom and doodle dinners, but it was still very much happening.

A few times I sat down and tried to write about the experience but it just didn’t feel right to do it here. So instead I went to my morning pages or I made a phone call to my mother or my sister.

And while all this was happening, I blocked off some time, scheduled a week of blog posts, and focused on getting through the days.

I did the same thing a few weeks ago when John and I were having what we call our “semi-annual clearance event” where, just like Macy’s, we need to clear out all the old stuff.

While we were stumbling our way through the muck, I was posting here about signs of spring and ordering chicks and being published in a book for the first time.

And I will admit that sometimes this dichotomy feels a little bit strange and false, but the longer I sit with it and my intentions for this blog, the more comfortable I am becoming.

When the clerk at the grocery store says, “Hi. How are you?” Do you tell her everything?

Probably not. (And I’d even go so far as to say hopefully not!)

Learning what to share about ourselves and the appropriate venue to do so is an important social skill that we all must learn, one that is all the more complicated by our hyper-connected, technology-rich world.

So even though it might appear that my life is an “open book” – it really isn’t. And I am becoming increasingly more comfortable with the balance that I have found of sharing openly and honestly when it feels right, and holding close when I need to.

How about you? Are you comfortable with the blogging (Facebook-ing etc.) boundaries that you have created?

Tags: behind the scenes

6 comments

flowers on April 16, 2009 at 7:37 pm

That’s something I am thinking about/experiencing right now. I love authenticity, but their are definitely places where I want privacy. I also look at blogging as an art, like writing a song, painting a picture or writing a poem. What exactly are you reflecting? I think your doing a great job and have been really enjoying your blog these past few months :-)
Rose on April 16, 2009 at 8:29 pm

Well said. I struggle with this, too. How much to share on the blog? Back when I used to write and publish a zine, I was very personal and open about everything. But now, on the computer, it feels somehow…different. It’s so much easier to just sit down and write about everything and then click “publish.” I am sometimes shocked at how much people share with complete strangers. You really have no idea who is reading your blog, after all.

I sometimes leave posts in my queue and contemplate them before publishing them. But at the same time, I feel like my blog is unabashedly about me and my life, and I’m starting more and more to record what I think *I* might like to read about myself twenty years from now. If other people find that entertaining, well then so be it.
Denise on April 16, 2009 at 8:31 pm

Yes and No. More yes than no though. It’s a strange thing for sure.
pam on April 16, 2009 at 9:53 pm

These are profound and important questions I’ve been thinking about lots. I do find myself presenting different “identities” in different places and am wrestling with whether that is a good or not-so-good thing.

Hope you’re feeling some peace about your grandmother’s passing.
mindfulmama on April 17, 2009 at 6:05 am

Sorry about your gramma :-( I am glad you shared. Maybe when you are ready, you’ll tell us about her life.

I think I reveal too much of the truth in my blog without nearly enough of the day to day stuff. For example, I have a 30 by 30 foot organic community garden plot and I grow/preserve many of our veggies; I bust my ass babysitting and teaching classes and writing and all that so that I can supplement our household income, I bake almost exclusively from scratch, I am constantly doing artwork with children, I make meals and clean friends’ houses — all of this I do without talking about it.

And what do I blog about? All the real, raw, emotion of motherhood, mostly.

I think, like many things in life, I probably have it all ass backwards. But then , i have always been told I wear my heart on my sleeve. Now I wear my heart on my blog.
Devon on April 18, 2009 at 8:44 am

Eh. I totally overshare. But that’s me.

Much love and hugs to you while you mourn your grandma ((((HUGS)))))