My kids and I have worked out a sweet deal.

I don’t love playing on playgrounds.

I mean sometimes I love it. (Especially if there is a zip line.)

But overall I don’t love it as much as they do.

And I really don’t love it late in the day when my energy is starting to wane.

And I especially don’t love it when it is cold and windy outside.

So one chilly afternoon as we wound our way towards home I proposed that we try something.

* * * * *

What if we made a 15-minute playground stop?

I would sit in the car (where I can clearly see them) and enjoy quiet and warmth and they could run around and play.

The deal was that they had to come back to the car immediately when I called them.

The first time we did this I tidied up my car and cleaned out my purse while they played. When I called them, they both came running and settled back into the car quickly and easily.

Huh, I thought.

A few days later they asked to do it again and I was happy to oblige.

Same thing. Smooth and easy.

Fifteen minutes of play and fresh air for them. Fifteen minutes of quiet for me. Lots of laughter and happy conversation on the way home, which naturally spilled over into dinner and bedtime.

* * * * *

There was a time when I would not have allowed myself to sit in the car for fear of what others might think about the kind of mom that I am.

There was a time when I would have observed another mother sitting in her car while her kids played and made assumptions about the kind of mom that she is.

Cutting myself some slack – and doing the same for others – has shifted my world.

And made me a much better person. (And mom.)

* * * * *

And you my friends? What would it feel like if you cut yourself some slack right now? What would it feel like if you did the same for those around you?

Love + Light…

* * * * *

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“Mama, come see….”

His words continue but I do not hear them as my own thoughts whirl inside my head.

“Mama, look,” he pleads.

I glance up and give one of my default-sugary-sweet-I’m-not-really-paying-attention responses.

“Oh wow! That’s sooo great, Sweetie.”

He sighs and puts down his creation.

* * * * *

Walking closer to me, he speaks in a soft voice — just as I do when I’m saying something I really want my children to hear.

“You didn’t really look, Mama. I watched your eyes.”

I start to speak…to apologize…to explain…but he has said his piece and walks away to re-engage in his project.

And I am left with a painful truth, suddenly acutely aware of just how frequently I am not really looking. Or listening. Or paying attention.

* * * * *

A couple of days later, I am swirling around the kitchen making breakfast, filling lunchboxes and running through my to-do list for the day when Jack Johnson sings:

“You’re so busy changing the world. Just one smile and you could change all of mine.”

I feel my heart burst open as I look across the kitchen at my children.

I am a mama.

I am (newly) self-employed.

I am here to do big work in this world.

I am busy.

But these beautiful children are watching my eyes.

And I want them to see me looking – really looking – right into theirs.

* * * * *

How about you, friends? Are you looking and listening and giving your attention to who and what is most important to you?

Love + Light…

Would you like to receive Breathing Space – along with discounts and goodies available only to e-mail subscribers — in your in-box every-other-Friday? Click the image to the left or right HERE to subscribe.

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