Today was a challenging day, in a challenging week, in a challenging month, in what has been a very challenging stretch of years in my personal life.
And, without going into details, I want to pause to witness and honor myself for showing up every single day as the very best version of myself that I can be, for keeping my chin up and my heart open, for doing the work, for loving fiercely and tenderly, for cussing and crying (and working out hard) when I need to, for taking my meds each morning religiously, and for actively, consciously, mindfully, whole-heartedly choosing to stay on the path of Recovery.
Three years, 5 months and counting…
Amen. Blessed Be. And so it is.
Yesterday on the way to school, my children and I had a soft, meandering conversation about Angels and the concept of “seeing signs.”
We talked about how some people believe that the Spirit world communicates with us through little synchronicities that feel too magical to be random. And some people do not believe this.
Neither perception is right or wrong. They are just different.
In my 42 years on this beautiful Earth, I have had seasons of holding each belief, and seasons where everything felt so confusing that I really didn’t know what I believed.
A few weeks ago someone special, whose guidance I trust and actively seek, told me she felt my Nana, who passed this spring, was sending her love and blessings to me through songbirds.
Whether or not this is “true” almost doesn’t matter to me.
Since that day I have been having a joy-filled game of hide-and-seek with my Nana.
And I love that, in the middle of running everyday errands, a simple sight like this stops me in my tracks, opens my heart, and helps me feel connected to her.
Are you grieving this holiday season as my family and I are? Last month I recorded an interview with my friend and ministry mentor, Rev. Sue Koehler-Arsenault on Grief, Loss and Getting Through the Holidays. You can watch it HERE. Much love to you. ~Rev. Erin