Self-portraits used to make me crazy-uncomfortable. (What will people think of a lady who walks around taking pictures of herself??) Over time I’ve come to love them and see each one as a gentle act of bravery and truth.
* * *
Yesterday, as I was about to click the button to finalize my tracks and art work for my CD, I called my children into the room to be part of the moment.
“You stand over by the door, Lily, and give Quinn’s hand a squeeze. Then he’ll give my hand a squeeze. When I feel that, I’ll click the button.”
(This is what I do. When I’m scared or nervous or uncomfortable. I make up games. I call in support. I ask people who love me to hold my hand.)
And so there we were, stretched out across our cozy, little home office like a bucket brigade, all set to go, when Lily yelled out.
“Mama, wait! You can’t do this. Please don’t do this.”
I took my fingers, which were trembling with nervousness and excitement, off the mouse and pulled both of my children in closer.
“I’m scared,” Lily said with tears in her eyes. “What if people laugh at you, Mama? I don’t want people to laugh at you.”
Quinn, who had expressed a similar concern a few days before, seconded her objection by covering his face with his hands and nodding his head.
* * *
I took a deep breath (three of them, actually), hugged my children and shared with them what I know to be true in my heart.
Some people are going to laugh.
There are always going to be people who will sit on the sidelines and point and laugh.
Any time we put ourselves, our ideas, our art out into the world, we open ourselves up to criticism and laughter and hurtful comments.
But that’s not a reason to keep our best ideas and our best work and our truest selves hidden inside us.
Because for every person who laughs or criticizes, many, many more will be touched and moved and inspired and healed by our efforts.
* * *
One of the things I love most about crossing over into this new genre of producing an audio CD, is the language that surrounds it.
CDs are released into the world.
Not launched. Or blasted. Or pushed.
They are released.
And it is from this place of beautiful, sacred release — with the knowledge that my words are not meant for everyone, that some people may laugh at me, and with the help of my two children who did indeed hold my hand to support me — that I offer my first audio collection.
From my heart to yours.
Three Deep Breaths will be available for digital download later this week / early next week. Click the image to the left (or right HERE) to preview the introduction track — and be sure to subscribe to my e-mail list to receive a “postcard” as soon as it is available for purchase!