I wrote some time ago about the changing seasons and how particularly the change of fall into winter used to catch me off guard and cause me much anxiety and stress.

My body simply was not tuned in to the seasonal rhythm and I would always find myself scrambling to “catch up.”

(And find the hats and mittens and snow pants as the first snow barreled down on us. Ugh.)

You can read the full post here, if you are interested.

With much practice and awareness, I can honestly say that I am in a good place with the changing of the seasons.

It still affects me fairly deeply, which I’ve come to accept is part of the experience of being a Highly Sensitive Person. But I’ve learned to plan ahead, ease up on our commitments, and give myself space to acclimate to the changes.

Mostly, I am doing well with these seasonal changes.

But right now, my friends, I am in the midst of a changing Life Season.

And I’m not going to sugar coat it: This transition is kicking my ass and rocking me to the core.

Jamie Martin and Renee Tougas first introduced me to the concept of Life Seasons.

It’s an idea that there are stages of our life journey that have very different characteristics, needs, blessings and challenges, much like the seasons of the year.

As we slowed our lives down last month and prepared to say goodbye to our beloved dog, Gilligan, I couldn’t help but see the end of a Season in our marriage and in our family.

John and I brought Gilligan home the year before we were married. He was our first baby. The first ‘little one’ we poured our collective love and attention into.

* * *

His passing brought some (really obvious, but somehow not fully known until now) realities to the forefront of my awareness:

1. John and I are not newly married any more.

2. Our children are not babies (or even toddlers or preschoolers) any more.

3. I attended my 20th high school reunion this past year and will celebrate my 39th birthday this spring.

* * *

And I don’t know about you, but when these kinds of realizations enter into my consciousness, they are usually followed by a tidal wave of questions.

How could this much time pass so quickly? Is this where we thought we’d be at this point in our lives? Is this where we want to be? Where do we want to go as a family in the next five (10, 15) years?

I don’t have all the answers to these questions, but I do know that what I have learned about navigating the change of seasons each year is absolutely essential to remember here in what feels like  a seasonal change x 1,000.

I need to give myself space to ask these questions, to be fully present to the needs of my family that are presenting themselves in this moment, and to make time and space to integrate the passing of one season and the unfolding of the next.

I also need to pull some of my energy back from the digital world for a bit.

I have decided not to run a Family Recharge in March and am putting my podcast on hold indefinitely. I’m also likely going to slip back into an every-other-week schedule with my { breathing space }  eletters.

When I first moved my blog over from my cozy little blogspot home and expanded to include the rest of this site, I chose to use my name in the URL, knowing that I want my writing and my photography and teaching to evolve and grow with me. I want this work of my heart to be sustainable for the long term and to nourish me and my family as I share my gifts with the intention of bringing love, peace, healing and nourishment to others and to our world.

Right now my attention and life force energy needs to be focused on my family, my immediate community and with those I am blessed to work with through my my ministry.

And this, my friends, feels like a beautiful season to be coming into.

Thank you for sharing the journey with me and for sharing your thoughts when you are inspired to do so. I’m going to continue to write and share in this space, just in a slightly different (not yet known to me) way.

(And with less side bar commotion and bigger photos!)